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Monthly Archives: January 2010

Tapeworm or Wiggle Worm?

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Everyone told me that when you first see your baby on the ultrasound screen, it is so amazing and that this was when pregnancy became “real” to them.  Others said that it wasn’t until they heard the heartbeat on the doppler that they were overcome with maternal feelings and love for their baby.

For me, while both of these events were amazing and awesome, I was still left questioning if I was in fact carrying a baby or if it was just a giant tapeworm that was making me so sick.  The big headed blob on the screen didn’t look like a baby, it looked like an alien, and the heartbeat sounded like an AM radio station with poor reception.  I was very excited and already felt an enormous amount of love for the blob/alien/possible baby, but it wasn’t until my last ultrasound that it really hit me that there is a very small baby inside of me, and quite soon it will be a real life baby and it will be all mine.

I went in for my sequential screening last week (this is a combination of an ultrasound and two separate rounds of blood work to determine if your baby has down syndrome or any other neural tube defects) and had the best ultrasound yet.  The machine was way more high tech than the one at my normal Doctor’s office and he spent more time looking at the baby than usual.

While he was checking things out, I saw the most amazing thing ever:  the baby moved.  And not just like a little twitch, it was kicking its legs and waving its arms all over the place!  A few times it even jumped when the Doctor was pushing down on it with the wand.  I don’t think it liked to be squished.  This is what I have been waiting for!  That little tiny baby moving and waving at me, the baby that has a profile now, this is my baby.

Baby Rose

I’m very near the beginning of my second trimester, so I’m feeling a LOT better these days.  I’m much more excited about pregnancy now that I am not constantly on the verge of puking and am even starting to enjoy it.  Thank god for that, I was really starting to worry that for 9 months I was going to be a miserable lump on the couch and have to give the baby the silent treatment for making me feel so horrible.  I think the combination of seeing that little wiggle worm and feeling better is just what I needed to really get excited about everything and I have officially fallen head over heels in love with this baby.

Our Next Project.

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Since our housewarming party in October, we have not done a single home improvement project.  We had spent months slaving away and we were exhausted.  I can’t even put into words how tired I was of painting.  Just the mere mention of it and I would break out into a cold sweat.

So, we decided to focus on a different kind of home improvement project.  We decided to build a baby.  We’d been talking about it for awhile but were both a littler nervous to pull the trigger.  Then we finally realized, we have a house, secure jobs,  and we’re not getting any younger.  It’s now or never.  I figured that it would take 6 months to a year at least before I actually got pregnant so we would have plenty of time to get used to the idea of a baby, save a little money, and finish painting.

Parenthood lesson #1:  You are no longer in control.

There they are, those two little pink lines.

I learned this 4 weeks after we decided to have a baby when I stood starting at a positive pregnancy test in my bathroom on a Monday night at around 10:30 pm.  To say I was shocked would be putting it mildly.  Of course I felt excited and incredibly blessed that this happened so easily for us, especially since we have several close friends whose journey towards having a baby was long and emotionally draining.  However, if I’m being perfectly honest, my first emotions were not these, they were shock and fear.  What had we done?  We can’t be parents!  I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night!  What if the baby doesn’t like me?  Does this mean we have to paint the guest room again?

I vacillated between being excited and completely terrified in the first few weeks.  One minute I would worry about how we are going to afford child care and another car payment (because my ’98 two door Mitsubishi Mirage is borderline unsafe for me, let alone a baby), the next minute I would be thinking about baby names and how we’re going to walk to Elings park and roll around in the grass together.

I’m now just over 10 weeks and finally starting to get into the swing of things.  Chris, bless his heart, gets up every morning at 5 am to get me a bowl of cereal and 1/2 a Unisom (my only line of defense against the dreaded morning sickness).  I still feel nauseous pretty much every waking minute, but it’s tolerable…just barely.  The other morning while brushing my teeth I became nauseous so suddenly that I threw up in the sink. (Just FYI for my faithful but few readers, I will not be censoring myself here, this is the real deal.  Being pregnant is magical but horrifying at the same time and is nowhere near as glamours as all these movie stars with their precious little bumps make it out to be.)

Here she/he is at 8 weeks:

Baby Rose

We don’t get to find out the sex until around 20 weeks *stomps foot* so until then we just call it the Meatball.  (Until my morning sickness really kicked in I was eating meatball sandwiches like crazy)

Oh, and my due date is August 7th.  Stay tuned!