I’m totally in list making mode right now. I like lists, they make me feel calm and in charge. So the fact that I am obsessively making them right now must be some sort of coping skill and the only thing keeping me from completely falling off my rocker in the days before my first born child arrives.
Here’s my latest in a series of lists, a super quick list of what not to do 2 weeks before you have a baby.
1) Eat approximately half a pound of Jelly Belly’s. This will only give you a stomach ache, raw mouth, and jittery feeling which you already have because you are having a baby in 11 days.
2) Get a really bad sunburn. Seriously, who is stupid enough to allow this to happen? I have a sunburn on the bottom quarter of both my legs. It’s so bad that it hurts when I walk. How am I supposed to put my legs in the effing stirrups to push this baby out when I can’t even point my toes without causing pain to my charred flesh?
3) Constantly remind yourself and others that you are having a baby in 11 days. This will only annoy others and drive you insane when you realize that 11 days is NOT A LONG TIME AT ALL and you are really going to have to go through this whole pushing out a baby business. Really soon. Like, in 11 days.