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Pump it up!

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I started writing a post about pumping and breast-feeding a couple weeks ago. (I told you this blog is going to be an endless stream of breast milk and poop! Don’t roll your eyes, you were warned!)

The post started when I was still pumping twice a day at work. It was exhausting trying to find an extra hour a day at work when I was already swamped. I was feeling very ranty and whiney about how hard it was.

So after much internal debate, I stopped pumping twice a day. Now I only go to my little room in the HR department once a day for half an hour, during my lunch break.

Oh my. This is SO much more manageable! I can still (usually) pump around 8 oz, so I have enough for 2 bottles of breast milk a day for the Monkeyface.

But, in some ways I feel like I have failed Emmett. I could, no I SHOULD, be pumping more, twice a day at work and once at night when he goes to sleep. Then I wouldn’t have to supplement with formula. The critical voice in the back of my head tells me that if I was a good Mom, this is what I would do. A good Mom would do anything for her baby.

But then there is the part of me that feels an overwhelming sense of relief because now that I don’t pump enough during the day I have an excuse to start feeding him formula without feeling guilty. Because damnitall, I don’t want to be pumping all day and all night. I have given up enough of my life for this little baby, I’m bone dry and weary.

Now that we’ve been supplementing with formula for a while, most of the guilt is gone. Emmett is still alive and happy as ever and I’m more relaxed. Good decision, I think.

P.S. For pumping Mommas, if you use a Medela pump go here for more info on the Pump In Style recall.

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6 responses »

  1. That is the pump that I have, but I think it was purchased after the recall dates. I wonder if I should still send in for a new one. hmmm.

    I just returned to work last Monday. MIL had the munchkin for the first week and he was only eating two 5 oz bottles in 8 hours. He started daycare this past Monday and he is now eating FOUR 5 oz bottles in the same amount of time. I have no doubt that this is what he actually needs, however now I am not making enough.

    SO, I have been pumping 5 (yes, FIVE) times a day at work to get 16 oz, which still comes up short by 4 oz *sigh*.

    I don’t blame you at all for supplementing with formula. I have only done this for one week and it is already exhausting!

    Reply
  2. Wowzers, you’ve got yourself a big eater! 🙂

    And double wow to you pumping FIVE times a day!!! I am in complete awe of you right now.

    Reply
  3. If I wanted Little Teague to have breastmilk, I had to pump it all because he would not nurse. I’d rather throw myself into a fireant colony than pump, but I did it for four months. Then when Big Teague moved away for work and I was never ever getting a break I just couldn’t take it any more and made the decision to switch to formula. My supply also tanked from the stress anyways, so I was supplementing anyways.

    I just couldn’t handle pumping 6-8x per day anymore. I know how you feel, though. I mean, what if formula didn’t exist? How would I feed my kid? I wouldn’t have given up then, so I why would I now? But I guess it all comes down to the fact that we’re doing our best with what we’re given, and that’s all that really matters.

    Reply
  4. KA, and all exclusive pumping Moms, you are A-Mazing. I can not even imagine pumping 6-8 times a day for a week, let alone 4 months.

    “It all comes down to the fact that we’re doing our best with what we’re given, and that’s all that really matters”. Amen.

    Reply
  5. I went through the same thing after I went back to work with Molly. Up until she was 6months, I pumped 3 times a day at work and often got up early or went to bed late to squeeze in one more session. I don’t know why I put this pressure on myself (no one else was pressuring me) to give her only boobie milk, but whatever….it consumed a lot of my time and I was over it. I now only pump at lunch and she has formula when that milk runs out while I am at work….I am so much happier and more relaxed. I work 3-4 10 hour shifts a week, so I have 3-4 days with her that she gets boob all day long and I give her a formula bottle before bed to ensure a night of beauty sleep for us both. I am loving this new arrangement and wish I would have unclenched a while ago.
    PS- I miss you and you have one of the cutest babies I have ever seen!

    Reply
    • Why is it that we feel so much pressure from ourselves to be the perfect Mom? I believe that breastfeeding is best, but at what cost? I can tell you that I am a happier and more relaxed Mom now that I only pump once a day, and Emmett still gets a good deal of bewb juice, so he’s getting all those nutrients and whatnot.

      I’m glad that we’ve both unclenched! We are better Moms for it.

      And I miss you too! {And someday I need to meet those darling little girls!}

      Reply

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