Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about trying to find some sort of balance between work and home. In the last few weeks I’ve had migraines, broken out in hives, and my stomach is tied up in knots. And no, I am not pregnant. I’m just incredibly stressed and trying to figure out this whole working Mom thing.
Has anyone else figured out how to balance the two? Is it possible to have a fulfilling and rewarding career while providing your child with the love and attention they need and deserve? Coincidently, Joanna Goddard over at A Cup of Jo, recently started a blog series on this very topic. I’ve been reading the guest posts every day, and at first I felt so relieved. These women are as exhausted and frazzled as I am, it’s not just me who feels this way!
Then I was like, wait a minute. These women are all beautiful, stylish, live in gorgeous flats in NYC and are all around fabulous. And here I am: overweight, skin breaking out and barely able to put together an outfit that isn’t covered in cat fur or Emmett’s breakfast. So it looks like they’ve got a leg up on me after all.
And they all have fabulous careers, whereas I’m still working my tail off to try and prove myself at work. How can I have a successful career if I have to leave important meetings early, like I had to the other day, in order to get home in time to spend the already rushed two hours a day I have with my baby? And what if I WANT to stay late to be in important meetings, like the one I had to leave? Does that make me a bad Mother?
All my efforts are finally starting to pay off at work, and I am SO excited about this. Everything that I have been hoping for, all those hours away from Emmett every day, they finally have a purpose. But I worry, how will I be able to do the best I can at work when my mind keeps wandering to what Emmett is doing and how much I miss the way he wrinkles his nose when he smiles (we call it his “cheese face”). I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him. How can I make sure that Emmett knows how much I love him? How can I make sure that he doesn’t love his other caregivers more than me? I mean, he spends more time with them than his own Mother, how could he not?
Maybe the answer is that there is no answer, you just have to ride the storm and hope you don’t get too waterlogged.