When I stumble upon something I like, I latch on to it like this baby sloth did with his foster Momma.
Remember when you were a teenager and you’d sit in your room for hours listening to Brian Adams “Everything I do” over and over and over again?
Was that just me?
Well, I still do this with books, movies, and music. My current obsession is a song by Mumford & Sons called “Roll Away Your Stone”. Not only does this song have a banjo in it, which is super hipster and cool of them, but it so beautifully captures my feelings on what I’ve been through and my glorious return to normalcy.
“Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?
And yet it dominates the things I’ve seen.”
PPD is a darkness that you can’t describe, and while it may sound like a dramatic description, it is a fairly accurate one. You live in a cloud of despair and sadness, and it dominates your life.
But I fought back. I fought with every fiber of my being, trying to reclaim myself and my life. It took 2 years, countless visits to my therapist and yes, even some medication, before I felt the fog lift.
“Stars hide your fires
These here are my desires
And I won’t give them up to you this time around
And so I’ll be found
With my stake stuck in this ground
Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul”
The fight was worth it, because this is how I feel now. I’ve found myself again, I’m voicing my desires and I will not give up on myself again.